Formula. The only way you could make it more evil is by making up bottles with Satan's wee...

Does anyone else get tired of the constant bitching about formula milk. I realise this is rather a simplistic statement so I shall expand.

Most of us know that breast is best. We're not thick. It's fact and we've all seen the endless propaganda. What vexes me is the relentless reminders. BREAST IS BEST!!! Formula isn't the same, it isn't a substitute, your baby will be RUBBISH compared to breastfed ones.... Yawwwwn. They serve absolutely no purpose and I shall explain why.

There are two kinds of exclusively formula feeding mother. I am generalising of course, but stick with me. The first is the kind that doesn't want to breastfeed. They are uncomfortable with the idea of their breasts being used to suckle a child and some even consider their breasts to be the property of their partners. Others may be unhappy with the idea of exposing their breasts publically. They make a conscious decision to bottle feed. So you can give them all of the facts til they are blue in the face. They have made their decision, they are bloody likely to stick to it!

Then there is the other kind. The kind that wanted to breastfeed but for some reason couldn't. There's many reasons. I was one of those mothers when I had my son (although I have been luckier with my daughter and am to all intents and purposes pro breastfeeding). I had dreadful postnatal depression and was terrily undereducated. I didn't want to ask for help as I wanted everyone to think I was coping when in fact I was sinking. I switched to formula and suddenly everything was a little easier. Thinking back, I'm quite sure I could have carried on physically but mentally it was the best decision. My best friend was probably the most determined woman I have ever seen when her daughter was born. She had a number of issues against her, tongue tie, severe mastitis and the most ridiculous amount of conflicting advice from so called professionals. She eventually had to call it a day after the infection in her poor boobs got SO bad that she was hospitalised. She then, after a lot of soul searching, made the tough decision to stop breastfeeding.  Another friend developed thrush in her nipples. Which is so HARD to cure as it just constantly gets transferred from breast to baby, back to breast again. After several weeks of furious expressing and constant agony she decided it would be best for both of them if she gave her baby formula.

What do we all have in common? Guilt. Constant, crippling guilt. That there was something else we could have done, that we have failed as women, as mothers. Despite knowing in our heart of hearts that we all did as much as we could at the time, that we made the right decisions not just for our babies but for our entire families. The guilt never leaves and haunts you every time your baby gets a cold, or a skin complaint. Is it because they were formula fed? So the LAST thing these mothers need is a constant stream of media telling them that they are not feeding their baby the optimum nutrition. We KNEW that breast was best. You don't need to tell us again!

I know there are women out there who battle through all of these issues. Most of them are heroes. Another of my friends has just battled through the most horrendous case of thrush, at one point we all suspected her nipples may actually just drop off. But she carried on and is now (touch wood) cured. But not everyone is as fortunate or indeed well supported.

When my son was 5 weeks old, he developed eczema. It was implied (by medical professionals, no less) that he would have escaped such torment had I breastfed him for longer, as he went on formula at around that age. A superb critisism of a woman who's primary occupation at that time was sitting in a dark room, rocking and weeping. I know different now. My daughter was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and is continuing to do so alongside her solid meals. I am a stickler for WHO guidelines, what can I say. And at 5 weeks on the dot, her skin broke out in a terrible rash. Eczema. Which she is now growing out of at 14 months. Just like her brother. It was an enormous weight from my mind that I hadn't caused all of those months of pain and discomfort. Except by passing on my rubbish allergic genes, but that can't be helped.

What really gets me though is the eternal implication that formula is the work of the devil. Formula companies are all corrupt. blah blah blah..... I think formula is bloody AMAZING. How many babies are on this planet that would not be here if it weren't for formula? I don't think there would be any way of quantifying the statistics but I would be willing to bet it's millions. Millions of babies that would have died if it weren't for nasty, chemically enhanced powdered muck. Is it filth or a miracle of modern science? We know the answer to that. BREAST IS BEST!

But I reckon FORMULA IS FANTASTIC. So shoot me.